I was a custody and parenting time mediator for many years and worked with hundreds of families. During that time, I noticed that my tone of voice and the pace at which I spoke had a profound effect on how the mediation went. I learned to use both of these subtleties in a strategic way to help people lower their emotional reaction, listen more carefully, and feel heard and cared for more directly. I often hear kids complain to their parents, "But you're yelling at me!". The p